Re: FLASH: site check (yet another)

[Debbie Hildreth]

Edward,

Cool idea to put poetry in flash!  Since, my primary background is in English

and in Creative Writing you have given me some inspiration to Flash my own

stuff.


I like the idea and the concept, but I do agree with Jayma about the whistle to

some extent.  I did not blast the volume so I did not have the scared me

effect, but it was somewhat jarring.  I would say play with the sounds and

think about what you want to stand out on the page -- the effects or the

poetry?  I would look to the power of the poetry first and have the sounds be

very background, subtle.


I kind of liked the black background until Nigel suggested the midnight blue

theme.  Although I believe that in the depths where subs dwell the water really

isn't colored at all and is more of a black.  Any way, I think the Midnight

Blue might also work well.


The one thing that kind of shook me was the choice of the color graphics of the

inside of the sub.  I wasn't sure why those were there.  I get a real feeling

of isolation from the poem and the color kind of takes that away.  Is this what

you have intended?


Villanelle -- Many Kudos for writing in form!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  The villanelle is

a very beautiful and fluid form.  You did a good job.  I would suggest a little

retooling of your line "way down deep in under the water."  The line kind of

sticks when I read through it, perhaps remove the in?


Cool.


Deb


JECJ wrote:


> Nice work Edward,

>

>  I think most on this list will agree with me in that sometimes the most

> simple presentations are the most effective. In reading your critique

> request and the notes attached to the poem (yes, I read them) it seems as

> though you have indeed over-thought this.. relax and enjoy your work as

> your work. Just so you know it has inspired me to perhaps put my own poetry

> to Flash, if for nothing else, to see them come alive in a very different

> way, thanks. Now, if I can only find time between these pesky paying

> projects.. hmmmmm

>

> I do however, agree with introducing a bit more blue ;)

>

> Keep going,

>

> -Jim

>

> Champer Interactive

> http://www.champer.com

>

webmasterchamper [dot] com

>

> -----Original Message-----

>

From: Edward Cossette [SMTP:cossettedelmar [dot] edu]

> Sent:   Thursday, May 27, 1999 5:06 PM

> To:     Flasher

> Subject:        FLASH: site check (yet another)

>

> Thanks in advance for taking the time to check out/critique the first Flash

> URL I'm sending out to the list (gulp!)

>

> Before you do, though, here are a couple of caveats to keep in mind when

> looking it over:

>

> 1.  What I've done is a really simple use of Flash.  No really hardcore

> blow-your-doors-off graphics/animation like the kind I've seen from others

> on this list.  Not only do I not have the skills to do the really advanced

> stuff, even if I did, this is meant to be a very simple thing.

>

> 2.  It's a poem that I've tried to bring to life in Flash, so the target

> audience is one far more rooted in "text-based traditions" rather than the

> icon/image world inhabited by many of you.  (That is not to say that it was

> a "dead"  poem on the printed page . . . )  And don't be turned off by the

> word "poem."  It's only 2 minutes long and hopefully won't bore anyone to

> death.

>

> Well, that's enough of me hesitating to get this URL out:

>

> http://www.evolute.org/poetry/submariner/

>

> Thanks,

>

> Edward Cossette

>

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--

Debbie Hildreth

Web Developer

University College and Extension Services

California State University, Long Beach 90840

(562) 985-5729

mailto:

dhildretcsulb [dot] edu

"Member, International Webmasters Association http://iwanet.org"

"Member, World Organization of Webmasters"

"Member, HTML Writers Guild"

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"Technology is nothing more or less than a natural phase of the creative

process which engaged man from the moment he forged his first tool and

began to transform the world for its humanization"


Paulo Freire : Cultural Action for Freedom

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