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| Subject: | RE: FLASH: OT : Chainletters [was] Please read when you get a chance |
| From: | Paul Willoughby |
| Date: | Fri, 8 Dec 2000 14:28:36 GMT |
First, don't send stuff like this to the list (in fact don't send it to
anyone). Second, the content of your message is almost certainly untrue.
Lets think of the logic of it: Do you know of any software that can
track an email and the amount of people it's forwarded to from multiple
mail boxes to multiple servers across the world? If I forward this
message to ten people, how could anyone outside my intranet or ISP
possibly know (without hacking through 2 firewalls)?
People have attempted to link chain emails to the ACS before, and not
surprisingly they don't like it (see http://www.cancer.org/chain.html).
If you want to help children with cancer you can make a donation at
their site.
Here's a (chain!) email for people who hate chain emails. Be warned, I
didn't write it and the author obviously doesn't share the same delicate
sensibilities I have (i.e. it's venomous, obscene and offensive, but
very funny)...
paul
> Subject: #$@% CHAIN LETTERS!!
>
> Hello, my name is Alfonso Merkin. I am suffering from rare and deadly
> diseases, poor scores on final exams, lack of sexual
> activity, fear of
> being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt
> for not sending
> out 50 billion fucking forwards sent to me by people who
> actually believe that
> if you send them, that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with
> lung cancer
> brought on by second-hand smoke from the cigarettes smoked by
> the big bad
> men who kidnapped her and took pornographic pictures of her
> for use on
> their child pornography web site will get 6 fucking cents
> every time you send me
> the letter.
>
> Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you
> and everyone
> you send "his" email to $1000? How fucking stupid are you?
> Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a
> wish, I'll get
> laid by every Victoria's Secret model in the catalog!
> What a bunch of bullshit.
>
> So basically, this message is a big FUCK YOU to all the
> people out there
> who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain
> mail forwards.
> Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my
> apartment and sodomize
> me in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started
> by Jesus in
> 5 A.D. and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on
> the Mayflower
> and if it makes it to the year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness
> Book of World
> Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity.
> Fuck them.
> If you're going to forward something, at least send something mildly
> amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your closest
> friends, and
> this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow
> receive a nickel
> from some omniscient being" forwards about 90 times.
> I don't fucking care.
>
> Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually
> contributing to by sending out forwards. Chances are it's
> your own unpopularity.
> P.S. Please forward this to at least 50 of your best friends!
>
> THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:
> Chain Letter Type 1: (scroll down)
>
> Make a wish!!!
>
>
>
>
> Really, go on and make one!!!
>
>
>
>
> Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!!
>
>
>
>
> Wish something else!!!
>
>
>
>
> Not that, you pervert!!
>
>
>
>
> Is your finger getting tired yet?
>
>
>
>
> STOP!!!!
>
>
>
> Wasn't that fun? Hope you made a great wish. Now, to make you feel
> guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if you don't send
> this to 5096
> people in the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a mad goat and
> then thrown off a high building into a pile of manure. It's
> true! Because,
>
> THIS letter isn't like all of those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!!
> Really!!!
> Here's how it goes:
> *Send this to 1 person: One person will be pissed off at you
> for sending
> them a stupid chain letter.
>
> *Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be pissed off at
> you for sending them a stupid chain letter
>
> *5-10 people: 5-10 people will be pissed off at you for
> sending them a
> stupid chain letter.
>
> *10-20 people: 10-20 people will be pissed off at you for
> sending them a
> stupid chain letter.
>
> Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!
>
>
> -------------------------------------------------------
>
> Chain Letter Type 2
> Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there
> is a starving
> little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no
> parents, and no goats. This little boy's life could be saved,
> because for every
> time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little
> Starving Legless
> Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund.
> Remember, we have
> no way of counting letters sent and this is all bull.
> So go on, reach out. Send this to 5 people in the next 47
> seconds. Oh,
> and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6
> people, you will die
> instantly.
> Thanks again!!
>
>
> -------------------------------------------------------
>
> Chain Letter Type 3
> Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since
> 1897. This is
> absolutely incredible because there was no email then and
> probably not as
> many little 8 year olds writing chain letters. So this is how
> it works.
> Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or
> something horrible
> will happen to you like:
> Queer Horror Story #1
> Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She
> had recently
> received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a
> crack in the
> sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in
> a flood of
> shit, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she
> smell nasty,
> she died. This Could Happen To You!!!
> Queer Horror Story #2
> Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail
> and ignored
> it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his
> boyfriend (hey,
> some people swing that way). They both died and went to hell.
> They continued to
> suffer in hell where they were both cursed to eat adorable
> kittens every
> day for eternity. This Could Happen To You!!!
>
> Remember, you could end up like Pinsley and Bip did. Just
> send this letter
> to all of your loser friends, and everything will be Ok.
>
>
> ------------------------------------------------------
>
> Chain Letter Type 4:
> As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every
> one of your
> friends.
>
> Friends
> * A friend is someone who is always at your side,
> * A friend is someone who likes you even though you smell like poop,
> * A friend is someone who likes you even though you're
> disgustingly ugly,
> * A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've
> soiled yourself,
> * A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you
> cry about
> your loser life,
> * A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they
> really think
> you should be raped by a mad goat and then thrown to vicious dogs,
> * A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet and vacuums and
> then gets the
> check and leaves and doesn't speak much English, no sorry that's the
> cleaning lady,
> * A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because
> he wants
> his wish of being rich to come true.
>
> Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll be eaten by wild muts
>
>
> -----------------------------------------------------------
>
>
> There. Now that we've covered and dumped on the four main
> types of chain
> letters, onto the ironic part. In order for this to get any
> popularity,
> send it on!!! If you don't think it was funny at all, don't
> bother, but
> otherwise forward this sucker to everyone you know!! If you
> don't, I don't care, but
> why not show this around? Take two minutes and forward it. Thanks!
> Remember, the moral of the story is, if you get a chain
> letter, ignore it.
>
> If it's a joke or something, send it, sure, but if it's gonna
> make people
> feel guilty (i.e. the willieless boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen) or
> nervous (i.e. Miranda Pinsley who ended up in a waterfall of
> turds) just delete
> it.
>
> Do yourself a favor, and everyone else in the world, and say,
> "#$@% CHAIN LETTERS!!"
Shaun Brazier wrote on 08 December 2000:
>
> Means something to me so may touch some of you lot. Sorry for
> posting to
> list but it is the largest I have in my addy book...
>
> > > >>> > > > >>> Subject: POEM FROM A CHILD WITH CANCER - PLEASE READ
> > > >>> > > > >>>
> > > >>> > > > >>> The following poem was written by a
> terminally ill young
> > girl....
...blah blah blah ad nauseum
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Replies
Re: FLASH: OT : Chainletters [was] Pleas, Ben
Re: FLASH: OT : Chainletters [was] Pleas, Shaun Brazier
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