Re: FLASH: OT : Chainletters [was] Please read when you get a chance

[Ben]

I'd like to thank Paul, for his very funny Chainletter parody, certainly

made me smile and brightened up my day!

A while ago I got sent a chainletter saying it originated from Microsoft

and someother company and it was testing their new e-mail client, and

they would pay you $1 for every person you forwarded it to, as it was

testing their e-mail software.

Yeah right, imagine the money companies would loose, how stupid do they

think people are)! That e-mail went straight in the Trash folder.


My 2cents worth


Ben


Now forward this to 69 people and be forever blessed!


>First, don't send stuff like this to the list (in fact don't send it to

>anyone). Second, the content of your message is almost certainly untrue.

>Lets think of the logic of it: Do you know of any software that can

>track an email and the amount of people it's forwarded to from multiple

>mail boxes to multiple servers across the world? If I forward this

>message to ten people, how could anyone outside my intranet or ISP

>possibly know (without hacking through 2 firewalls)?

>People have attempted to link chain emails to the ACS before, and not

>surprisingly they don't like it (see http://www.cancer.org/chain.html).

>If you want to help children with cancer you can make a donation at

>their site.

>

>Here's a (chain!) email for people who hate chain emails. Be warned, I

>didn't write it and the author obviously doesn't share the same delicate

>sensibilities I have (i.e. it's venomous, obscene and offensive, but

>very funny)...

>

>

>paul

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>> Subject:      #$@% CHAIN LETTERS!! 

>> 

>> Hello, my name is Alfonso Merkin. I am suffering from rare and deadly 

>> diseases, poor scores on final exams, lack of sexual 

>> activity, fear of 

>> being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt 

>> for not sending 

>> out 50 billion fucking forwards sent to me by people who 

>> actually believe that 

>> if you send them, that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with 

>> lung cancer 

>> brought on by second-hand smoke from the cigarettes smoked by 

>> the big bad 

>> men who kidnapped her and took pornographic pictures of her 

>> for use on 

>> their child pornography web site will get 6 fucking cents 

>> every time you send me 

>> the letter. 

>> 

>> Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you 

>> and everyone 

>> you send "his" email to $1000? How fucking stupid are you? 

>> Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a 

>> wish, I'll get 

>> laid by every Victoria's Secret model in the catalog! 

>> What a bunch of bullshit. 

>> 

>> So basically, this message is a big FUCK YOU to all the 

>> people out there 

>> who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain 

>> mail forwards. 

>> Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my 

>> apartment and sodomize 

>> me in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started 

>> by Jesus in 

>> 5 A.D. and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on 

>> the Mayflower 

>> and if it makes it to the year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness 

>> Book of World 

>> Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity. 

>> Fuck them. 

>> If you're going to forward something, at least send something mildly 

>> amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your closest 

>> friends, and 

>> this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow 

>> receive a nickel 

>> from some omniscient being" forwards about 90 times. 

>> I don't fucking care. 

>> 

>> Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually 

>> contributing to by sending out forwards. Chances are it's 

>> your own unpopularity. 

>> P.S. Please forward this to at least 50 of your best friends! 

>> 

>> THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS: 

>> Chain Letter Type 1: (scroll down) 

>> 

>> Make a wish!!! 

>>   

>>   

>>   

>> 

>> Really, go on and make one!!! 

>>   

>>   

>>   

>> 

>> Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!! 

>>   

>>   

>>   

>> 

>> Wish something else!!! 

>>   

>>   

>>   

>> 

>> Not that, you pervert!! 

>>   

>>   

>>   

>> 

>> Is your finger getting tired yet? 

>>   

>>   

>>   

>> 

>> STOP!!!! 

>>   

>>   

>> 

>> Wasn't that fun? Hope you made a great wish. Now, to make you feel 

>> guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if you don't send 

>> this to 5096 

>> people in the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a mad goat and 

>> then thrown off a high building into a pile of manure. It's 

>> true! Because, 

>> 

>> THIS letter isn't like all of those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!! 

>> Really!!! 

>> Here's how it goes: 

>> *Send this to 1 person: One person will be pissed off at you 

>> for sending 

>> them a stupid chain letter. 

>> 

>> *Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be pissed off at 

>> you for sending them a stupid chain letter 

>> 

>> *5-10 people: 5-10 people will be pissed off at you for 

>> sending them a 

>> stupid chain letter. 

>> 

>> *10-20 people: 10-20 people will be pissed off at you for 

>> sending them a 

>> stupid chain letter. 

>> 

>> Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!! 

>>   

>> 

>> ------------------------------------------------------- 

>> 

>> Chain Letter Type 2 

>> Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there 

>> is a starving 

>> little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no 

>> parents, and no goats. This little boy's life could be saved, 

>> because for every 

>> time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little 

>> Starving Legless 

>> Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. 

>> Remember, we have 

>> no way of counting letters sent and this is all bull. 

>> So go on, reach out. Send this to 5 people in the next 47 

>> seconds.  Oh, 

>> and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 

>> people, you will die 

>> instantly. 

>> Thanks again!! 

>>   

>> 

>> ------------------------------------------------------- 

>> 

>> Chain Letter Type 3 

>> Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 

>> 1897.  This is 

>> absolutely incredible because there was no email then and 

>> probably not as 

>> many little 8 year olds writing chain letters. So this is how 

>> it works. 

>> Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or 

>> something horrible 

>> will happen to you like: 

>> Queer Horror Story #1 

>> Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She 

>> had recently 

>> received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a 

>> crack in the 

>> sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in 

>> a flood of 

>> shit, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she 

>> smell nasty, 

>> she died. This Could Happen To You!!! 

>> Queer Horror Story #2 

>> Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail 

>> and ignored 

>> it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his 

>> boyfriend (hey, 

>> some people swing that way). They both died and went to hell. 

>> They continued to 

>> suffer in hell where they were both cursed to eat adorable 

>> kittens every 

>> day for eternity. This Could Happen To You!!! 

>> 

>> Remember, you could end up like Pinsley and Bip did. Just 

>> send this letter 

>> to all of your loser friends, and everything will be Ok. 

>>   

>> 

>> ------------------------------------------------------ 

>> 

>> Chain Letter Type 4: 

>> As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every 

>> one of your 

>> friends. 

>> 

>> Friends 

>> * A friend is someone who is always at your side, 

>> * A friend is someone who likes you even though you smell like poop, 

>> * A friend is someone who likes you even though you're 

>> disgustingly ugly, 

>> * A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've 

>> soiled yourself, 

>> * A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you 

>> cry about 

>> your loser life, 

>> * A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they 

>> really think 

>> you should be raped by a mad goat and then thrown to vicious dogs, 

>> * A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet and vacuums and 

>> then gets the 

>> check and leaves and doesn't speak much English, no sorry that's the 

>> cleaning lady, 

>> * A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because 

>> he wants 

>> his wish of being rich to come true. 

>> 

>> Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll be eaten by wild muts 

>>   

>> 

>> ----------------------------------------------------------- 

>>   

>> 

>> There. Now that we've covered and dumped on the four main 

>> types of chain 

>> letters, onto the ironic part. In order for this to get any 

>> popularity, 

>> send it on!!! If you don't think it was funny at all, don't 

>> bother, but 

>> otherwise forward this sucker to everyone you know!! If you 

>> don't, I don't care, but 

>> why not show this around? Take two minutes and forward it. Thanks! 

>> Remember, the moral of the story is, if you get a chain 

>> letter, ignore it. 

>> 

>> If it's a joke or something, send it, sure, but if it's gonna 

>> make people 

>> feel guilty (i.e. the willieless boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen) or 

>> nervous (i.e. Miranda Pinsley who ended up in a waterfall of 

>> turds) just delete 

>> it. 

>> 

>> Do yourself a favor, and everyone else in the world, and say, 

>> "#$@% CHAIN LETTERS!!" 

>

>

>Shaun Brazier wrote on 08 December 2000:

>> 

>> Means something to me so may touch some of you lot. Sorry for 

>> posting to

>> list but it is the largest I have in my addy book...

>> 

>> > > >>> > > > >>> Subject: POEM FROM A CHILD WITH CANCER - PLEASE READ

>> > > >>> > > > >>>

>> > > >>> > > > >>> The following poem was written by a 

>> terminally ill young

>> > girl....

>

>...blah blah blah ad nauseum

> 

>

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flasher is generously supported by...

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 November 27-29, 2000, LONDON, National Film Theatre


   Produced by United Digital Artists and lynda.com

-Sponsored by Macromedia, Adobe Systems and Apple Computer

-http://www.flashforward2000.com  or UK tel. +44 (0870) 751 1526

       Register before November 10 and save �200

            http:// www.flashforward2000.com

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  To unsubscribe or change your list settings go to

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