Re: FLASH: Please please- give me constructive criticism

[Sarah Lamont]

Lee-

thank you so so much for taking time to help me. I'm going to try some

of the things you suggested. The main thing that is missing from the animation

that I am going to add is the voices, and then a voice over throughout

the city part. This will probably clear up some of the confusion that is

in the animation right now. Also, I did try adding some environment to

the city scene; I added some windows moving along the buildings, but I

ended up taking them out. They looked stupid because it's obviously a simplified

city scene and it looked like I was trying to make it look realistic or

something.

Again- Thanks!

Sarah

Lee Hunter wrote:

 The file loaded quickly and ran fine. I thought it generally looked good and was very well executed.A few small things which you might want to consider:- on the opening scene with the phone calls I found the pale blue background a little distracting. You might want to try a more neutral colour- Another way of telling the story would be to start with a closeup of the man using the phone then zoom out to get the whole scene. It would be easy to do in Flash and would give more visual dynamism to the scene.- the woman's phone hides her mouth which is a bit of a shame since this would give a visual clue to the action. If I could see her expression then I could get a story from it even without dialogue. I also wondered if it wouldn't be good to give some clue as to which person we are driving with. - the drivethrough worked really well for me. I thought the segment of sky - for being so prominently positioned - looked a little static and empty. If may be worth doing a separate movie clip for sky which you could pan behind the buildings. If you wanted to get really fancy shmancy you could do more to vary the streetscape but it also depends on how much energy you're ready to invest in this piece.- with the browser open fully on my monitor the final scene with the fountain had a dark blue square moving back and forth which didn't look intentional.- at the end I was left hanging because neither of the two characters from the opening re-appeared but maybe this is the unfinished bit.Hope this helps.RegardsLee Hunterwww.hum.com-----Original Message-----
From: ownerchinwag [dot] com [ownerchinwag [dot] com (mailto:ownerchinwag [dot] com)]On Behalf Of Sarah Lamont
Sent: October 12, 1999 5:11 PM
To: flasherchinwag [dot] com
Subject: FLASH: Please please- give me constructive criticism
 

First of all, thanks to everyone for their sites. :)

I need to ask a big favor from anyone - will you please take a look at this flash animation I've been working on? it's not complete - there is going to be a voice over added. But on what is done so far, can anyone give me some constructive criticism (and it's supposed to be Pittsburgh, going to the Point - for anyone not familiar with it.) It is very simplistic, but I am concerned that it at least give the feel of driving through the city, with movement and perspective, if you know what I mean.

Anyways even if you tear it apart, any critiques are welcome. This is my first animation that is actually for something so I understand that it is not the same calibur that a lot of the other members of the flash list have -- but I'm trying! : )

Thank you sooooooooo much for any input.
(The URL is www.2mtc.com/animation/splash.swf)
(It's kind of big so it might take a while to load)
Sarah
 
 
 

David wrote:

Check out
http://juxtinteractive.com/namb/nehemiah/

> heres the URL for a design company.  Godd example of ose of sound and the
> use of Diredtor etc, etc.
>
> http://www.matinee.co.uk/
>
> Enjoy,
>
> Dan.
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: ownerchinwag [dot] com [ownerchinwag [dot] com (mailto:ownerchinwag [dot] com)]On Behalf Of Sarah
> > Lamont
> > Sent: Tuesday, October 12, 1999 3:26 PM
> > To: flasherchinwag [dot] com
> > Subject: FLASH: Flash: Cool sites?
> >
> >
> > I was just wondering if anyone knew of some good ecclectic web sites;
> > some fun ones targeting a young audience, not really modern-artsy
> > though. I don't know how to explain it but I need some inspiration
> > -fast- for a new site I am doing. Thanks!
> > Sarah
> >

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